Getting your ex back: know your ex's expectations

Written By Lisa Jones

It has become generally accepted that attempting desperately to get your ex back is the best way to make him/her head for the hills. This is common sense, as nobody would be attracted to a desperate and needy person. In addition, such a mentality makes you doing things you would never do with anybody else. The shortcoming here is to think that the break up was caused by not having been good enough, or not having done enough. The reality is that This is seldom the case. On the contrary, most people prefer people who think by themselves and are not constantly attempting to delight you. The key concept here is "challenge". Only challenge can make you interesting and appealing, be it for romance or for any social relationship.

A relationship should not be one-sided and predictable if you want to make it challenging and interesting. There should always be something fresh to spice things up. Basically, what your ex awaits is to have more by being with you than being without you. Being with you should imply perpetual exploration and fresh exciting experiences. Your ex should feel about you as a valuable asset and not merely a liability. However, many persons fail to think this way and to think about their relationship. They do not think beyond their own sentiments and fail to realize they have to be a resource for their partner. By understanding this primary concept, a lot of couples have arrived at a new level in their relationship.

It might be good to ask your ex or partner what they await from a relationship and from life in general - and not what they specifically await from you, since the reply will always be biased. By asking this way, you will probably have some surprises and also some insight into their deep feelings. Do not stop at the particulars or the specific desires, but alternatively try to capture the whole picture. This will allow you to stir up the necessary alterations and to become able to offer what your ex really needs, and not just some superficial and void affection.

Then, take your time and do not reveal everything. Try to arouse your ex's interest by letting him/her wonder what you are going to do. Do not make discourses, but rather make your actions speak for yourself. There is nothing more bothersome and detestable than an ex trying to explain how things are going to change and how smart they have become. Contrarily, you should never attempt to excuse yourself. Only your acts should give a clue at what you really have in store. By behaving in a somewhat mysterious and exciting way, you will make your ex want to know more. You ex will likewise be willing to play their part and become involved in this new adventure.

Lisa Jones

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